And work it does -- I'm sure I've listened to "Blind Man's Penis" over times by now and I still haven't found the bottom of its well of delights. The story of this hilarious record has been told numerous times. Reprinted below is Trubee's own poignant account, slightly modified from the version that appeared in the September issue of Spin magazine. Article by John Trubee Stevie Wonder's penis is erect because he's blind.
Peace can only be achieved through excessive acts of seemingly mindless violence. Who do bullies pick on in the playground? The giant, crazy looking guy who looks ready to snap and kill the person nearest or some harmless looking weenie who appears to do anything to avoid conflict?
People pick on the weenie because people like to start fights they think they can win. In the same way, people will continue to attack America and our interests when they get the idea that they can piss off America without us immediately eradicating them and everyone around them in the most painful way possible.
Now, if I were president, here's what I would do. Next time some country does something we don't take a pining too, such as supporting terrorism or speaking French, I'd pick the dumbest reason for an attack, e.
I don't make the rules, Iraq, but I will enforce them. I'd then give the country the old one-week notice until bombing starts.
Then, after just twenty-four hours, I'd start bombing. When the stupid dictator calls to complain, I'd say, "I meant one week max. Oh, and by the way, ground troops - one week. Like, instead of just saturation bombing a city, super-saturation bomb it.
After annihilating everything until nothing but ash is left, I'd nuke the ashes. It's that extra bit of extremely disproportionate use of force that makes other countries start to wonder if America "has it all together" and really worrying who we'll lash out against next.
Of course, Europe will start complaining, and Europe's bad mouthing of America gives comfort to our enemies.
I mean, those guys values are so messed up they think calling someone a "cowboy" is an insult. Best idea would be to assassinate the leader of the first European country we hear a peep out of.
This will probably make us look evil, though, when we want the image of crazy and violent. So, when the Europeans ask why, I'd claim to never have heard of the person: Sure it wasn't suicide? Yeah, committing suicide with a sniper rifle would be hard, but not impossible if you had a five-hundred yard length of string to work the trigger.
I mean, what are they going to do other than quickly capitulate under a mild threat of force. We'll probably start seeing, "We all love America! Now the world will be pretty convinced that America is frick'n nuts and just looking for a fight, but we need to really ingrain it into everyone's conscious so that no one will ever even contemplate crossing us.
This requires making good use of our nukes. I know, nukes can kill millions of people, but they sure aren't doing anyone any good just sitting around. I mean, how many years has it been since we last dropped a bomb on someone?
No one even thinks we'll actually use one now. Of course, using nukes shouldn't be done haphazardly; all uses have to be well planned out because the explosions are so cool looking that we'll want to give the press plenty of notice so they can get pictures of the mushroom cloud from all sorts of different angles.
But what to nuke? Well, usually the idea is populated cities, but, by the beliefs of my morally superior religion, killing is wrong. So why can't we be more creative than nuking people.
My idea is to nuke the moon; just say we thought we saw moon people or something. There is no one actually there to kill unless we time it poorly and everyone in the world could see the results. They are nuking the moon! America has gone insane!
I better go eat at McDonald's before they think I don't like them. We've got like tons of national parks; we surely wouldn't miss just one if we nuked it.Students attending high school in one of the 50 states, the District of Columbia, or the U.S.
territories OR U.S. citizens attending high school overseas are eligible for this award. Students must be in grades nine through twelve at time of application. Some students who need writing aid try to save their money by using a very cheap essay writing service.
They find a low-cost website (which, of course, claims it is “professional” and “outstanding”) and hire cheap essay writers to do their papers. Claim: Barack Obama said he would replace the U.S. national anthem with the song Id Like to Teach the World to Sing.False. For the purpose of the National Peace Essay Contest, an essay is a three-part paper that lays out and develops a position in response to the essay contest question.
Researching the topic to gain greater knowledge about critical. Essay Contests. The FREE and EASY Scholarship Source. Free Scholarship Links. Free College Scholarship Sweepstakes, Contests, and More. Win Money for College. Free FAFSA Tips. Financial Aid Mistakes to Avoid.
Free Financial Aid Tips. Essay Example. Sponsored by the American Foreign Service Association in partnership with the U.S. Institute of Peace, Semester at Sea and the National Student Leadership Conference.
National High School Essay Contest.